B to Z
Mental health and wellness
B to Z
Therapy is good weed
Ever grappled with the weight of financial worries or felt the pressure of turning your passion into a profitable business? We've got Brandon May on board this week, who gets real about the highs and lows of entrepreneurship. Our candid conversation takes you through the nitty-gritty of managing finances both personally and professionally. Brandon, transitioning from a tattoo artist at established shops to the proud owner of Empire Tattoo, shares the raw emotions that come with such a bold move. He doesn't hold back in recounting the learning curve of budgeting for business, dealing with the tax beast, and the relentless pursuit of purchasing a home in California's daunting real estate market.
But we don't just talk shop; we delve into the heart of the tattoo industry's current evolution, challenging the status quo of traditional shops versus the rise of private studios. Brandon's perspective as a seasoned artist and business owner ignites a passionate debate about the importance of respecting diverse paths to success within the community. As he strips away the layers of negativity that often cloud the tattoo world, listen in for a potent mix of frustration and enlightenment. This episode isn't just for entrepreneurs or creatives; it's a raw look at the universal struggle to chase professional dreams against the odds. Join us for an eye-opening session that promises to leave you inspired to carve out your own empire, whatever that may be.
Good morning. Good morning.
Speaker 2:Good morning. Welcome to B to Z Podcast. I'm going to be the host today, Zach, and with me, as always, Brandon May. How you doing, Brandon?
Speaker 3:I'm good. How are you man? I'm good, I want to.
Speaker 2:Our last episode ended with some heavy topics. I kind of want to keep going with the heavy topics. What's something that bothers you, what's something that stresses you out, something that stresses?
Speaker 3:me out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what's something that's been bothering you, bills.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, bills stress me out Financial, financial yeah, that's been bothering you. Bills, yeah, yeah stress me out.
Speaker 3:So financial, financial, yeah, um, being in uh california stresses me out, trying to buy a house stresses me out a lot of those things. What about yourself?
Speaker 2:uh, same financial I'm on. I'm on a budget, going to school, not currently employed right now, which is really different for me, and not being employed actually leads to me being more stressed out yeah, I mean jobs are for jokes.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying, I'm just kidding. I mean, yeah, it's tough times right now. We're out here facing a lot. Interest rate is at an all-time high, it's hard to show for, to buy things, it's hard to get in a position to buy things, and that's pretty much my issue these days is just trying to buy a house, or budgeting, budgeting. You said budgeting, budgeting my business properly, so I can uh have a lucrative year without going in too much in the negatives, because taxes for me was a huge thing my first year within business and stuff like that uh you're an entrepreneur.
Speaker 3:Entrepreneur, business owner yeah, this is what my third year um leaving the studio. Everything else has been in somebody else's shop. Empire tattoo I started, and then elizabeth street, which I learned a lot from both, uh you know, sean workah and brian foster. I've always been really nosy as far as the industry and how businesses work. I want to know everything you know and it's uh it's allowed me to open up doors, man. Matter of fact, let me go ahead. Uh, there was this podcast that there, or this other podcast the other day they're called honest tattooers and they had a post up that said you know, tattooers don't want to pay 40 percent for uh a shop, but they want to pay 10 grand to go rent a private studio. And that shit right there really bothered me. The other day I asked my lady if I should talk about it and get on their Instagram. She said no, so I didn't get at y'all, but I guess I couldn't.
Speaker 2:We're talking about now, yeah.
Speaker 3:I guess I couldn't hold back, though, but I just didn't agree with that shit, me being a private studio owner. All the paperwork is the same, homie. You know what I'm saying for the, for the ones who you know for, who put that out all the paperwork is the same and the work is the same as well. What I do as a tattooer is pretty much the same thing you do as a tattooer. It just looks different, and it pisses me off that people feel like they can create ripples, negative ripples, when it could just be a positive thing. And that's a big part of the problem of tattooing is everybody got an opinion on the way that it should be done, and as long as you're doing your thing in a respectable way, then get out of other people's ways. Man, this shit is going to evolve one more time. Right now, it's private studios, but it'll be another thing one day, and there's gonna be.
Speaker 3:This shit is gonna evolve one more time. Right now, it's private studios, but what that? It'll be another thing one day, and there's always someone talking about oh, these people didn't get it this way and this, it should be this way, and it's just like I'm really sick of that. You know I worked hard to get a private studio and it's circumstances that put me in a private studio. Um, having three kids, um, wanting to be in my kids' lives and you know, pick up and drop off and have freedom to leave is important to me, you know, because my kids are only young once and that's why you find me in a private studio is because I want to spend that extra time around my family rather than in a shop, which you assholes, you feel me so?
Speaker 2:but you also had a transitional period too, as I'm sure a lot of artists did during COVID, where it was half in the shop, half with masks. I came, I got tattooed, with masks on.
Speaker 2:I know everybody wasn't willing to do that we was closed yeah, exactly, and and that also, I know, transitioned a lot of artists into doing it from home because it was legal to do it, run that type of business at home. At one point. Correct, because luckily the government made it flexible. Uh, I know, for the, uh for food and and also tattooing. Uh, they, they kind of bent the rules a little bit.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean I don't. I got tattooed at your house. I don't know specifically if you were able to tattoo at home ever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, California was. Oh, okay.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so that's news to me. That's cool. You know, I can see how it could become a problem just because people ruin everything. You know, you give them a little bit of something and then there's always somebody who's doing too much with it. Tattoos are really bad with that, I think. Sometimes, you know, like another guy was posting about the FDA and the inks and stuff like that, and another tattoo artist was talking about oh man, now you got them looking at us, man, like shut up and a part of me agrees with that Like bro, like just shut up. You know, like the more we talk about this stuff and the more we put it out there, like the worse it's going to be.
Speaker 3:Everybody wants to have a freaking tutorial. You know what I mean. It's like stop teaching everybody this, you know, and I was a victim of that stuff too. I had apprentices. You know, of that stuff too, I had apprentices. You know, they all tried their best and stuff like that. I don't have any apprentices anymore. Respect to them, though, and the paths that they took and the journeys that we had together like, I still am on good terms with most of them. One I'm going to work on, you know what I mean I will definitely revisit that relationship, but I mean stop teaching this stuff, you know, keep it a little bit more sacred. But also get off your high horse. Get off your fucking high horse.
Speaker 2:What's therapeutic to you? What, what? What helps you work out all these stressors? What's your what's? What's your therapy nowadays?
Speaker 3:My therapy, it was boxing for a little bit, you know. But, man, you know, I have things that a lot of people don't have and, as kids, as soon as I walk in the house and I have a responsibility to another little soul like that, that's enough for me to kind of jostle me into the place where I have a responsibility to another little soul. That's enough for me to kind of jostle me into the place where I need to be. I don't have to look far. I also have a brother who's incarcerated, who's always doing worse than I, so that's something I think about all the time, so I don't look far. For examples, mine are core and they stay right close to me so I can stay humble and grounded and not take this stuff for granted. What about you?
Speaker 2:well, so I look up to you for doing that, and some people can. They can do that. They can. They have that internal therapy. They have that, that button they can press. That helps them, uh, de-stress, decompress. That helps them, uh, de-stress, decompress and enjoy the rest of the day. For whatever reason, I stopped having that my at one point in my life. How'd you regain it? Like several years of therapy. I've been in therapy now, uh, since 2018 okay.
Speaker 3:You want to shout out your therapist? Is that something you do? No, I'm not going to.
Speaker 1:Because I've gone through a lot, you know who you are.
Speaker 2:I will shout my therapist out for the fact that this is one of the best therapists I've had. I've had many good ones, but I think there's a time and place. Sometimes you come and meet the right people.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I met the right therapist for me right now.
Speaker 3:Okay, and what defines a good therapist and a bad therapist for you specifically?
Speaker 2:Believe it or not, someone that listens. That sounded like a joke a little bit it is because you can have a therapist and they cannot listen to you. And there are types of therapy where you do it just like a class. You follow along, you do it almost like a book style. You have homework, there are certain steps you need to be completing and sometimes it's not. Sometimes therapy is not cut and dry like that because there's emotion into it and there's and there's lots of different layers you know I've never taken any therapy.
Speaker 3:Um, I've been involved in other people's therapy and I know therapists will exercise all different types of exercises to get to where they want to try and get you to see in a different light. What is it that your therapists are doing with you?
Speaker 2:I'm glad you brought that up. Yeah, because I'm going to.
Speaker 2:I kind of want to ask you and for all the listeners out there too, there's a it's an old school type of type of way to look at things. I'm sure you've heard before Think about a good memory you have when you're 10 years old. So get yourself there. Get yourself thinking you're about 10 years old or you know anywhere in between. There, get yourself a good memory of yourself, type of clothes you wore, what you look like, and then I want you to meet that 10-year-old person as you right now. I want you to walk up on that kid and I want you in that kid's shoes. That kid's shoes. Would you be proud of the person you are today, looking through that 10-year-old's eyes?
Speaker 3:And those are the things that they're asking you. This was something that came up in my recent therapy.
Speaker 2:And what was your answer? I was. I was proud of myself. I was yeah, yeah. When my 10-year-old self looks at me, I think he'd think I'm cool as shit. Yeah, yeah, to be completely honest, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:I mean, I've always thought like those questions are like cheesy a little bit.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, but they do hit home. As cheesy as it could be, like it hits home and uh, I think about that too. Like am I where I should be? In a different form, I'm definitely not speaking to the kid, I mean, I'm talking to the adult. You know, like bro, like you should be in a different place than you are in. You know, usually from a negative standpoint. Um, I as a kid, if I were to look at myself and say, hey, are you happy with where you are? I'd be like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:But I've definitely been proud of yourself.
Speaker 1:Is that 10-year-old proud of you? Yeah, I'm proud of myself.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm proud of myself. Obviously, I think there's this unachievable goal that humans have within their brains and their hearts to always want more. You know what I mean. So I always want more, which is something I'm working on as well, is being content. But I am happy with what it is that I've achieved in my 40 years of life, and that's not based off of achievements, but it's more who it is that I am and my little generation that I've created. You know, and I know, anybody can have babies, but it takes a real man to really put a stamp on their children, real, real woman to put a stamp on their children to kind of define who it is that they are. You know what I mean and I feel like I'm doing a really good job with that as of right now.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean. Oh yeah, I feel like it takes work and you have the ability to suck too. You know like you could do all the good work and then at the end you stumble.
Speaker 2:One thing. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:And it can send things off as rockers. So I'm just trying to stay in pocket, stay in my lane and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:So you haven't had any of those times where that one thing sent you off, or that one bad thing. Have you had any bad instances that you?
Speaker 3:can recall Instances within what?
Speaker 2:Within parenting. Within parenting, yeah.
Speaker 3:I mean, you're teaching little humans who don't know anything how to be civilized. They're little savages and you give them manners. And so, yeah, you know, this morning when I left, you know, my three-year-old and my five-year-old have just been at it and I had to have one of those conversation type of meetings where I sit them down on the couch and be like hey, why? And I tell my kids like hey, you guys are hurting my feelings. You know, I try and put it in kid terms.
Speaker 2:You guys are hurting my feelings when you act like this.
Speaker 3:This is not cool. It makes me feel different. I had pulled out games we were going to be board games and they were just acting like assholes. But then I was like man, this is a parenting moment and I didn't even want to do it. I didn't want to do it, I just wanted to fucking push it to the side, Like fuck it, you guys win. But I was like, no, we're not playing nothing, Y'all go sit on the couch Time to have a meeting.
Speaker 3:Like I need you to act right you know I'm not just saying this just because it's default verbiage for parents Like I really need you to be solid individuals and those, those are down moments as well as high moments, because the feeling that comes with it because you got to get on your kids, you got to bring their demeanor down, a little bit hurts you. But the information, um, is pivotal. It's vital that they receive that because, no, they don't know now. Like they have no clue what the fuck I was talking about, Right, they have no clue what the fuck I was talking about, right. Two seconds later they're like eh, da-da-da-da-da. I finished the conversation. And Luna's like oh, I want to play with you.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean, and the whole conversation was about playing alone for a little bit and being independent. So they get it, but they don't get it. So it's just like you're grooming them. It's a muscle, your kids are a muscle. If you're not doing push-ups mental push-ups with your kids and putting them and challenging them, then, yeah, they won't have the proper resources. So I try not to have bad moments I try not to, but I do, and that's usually based off of kids doing things that kids do, like sending messages they shouldn't send for my eldest or for the youngest managing emotions and sitting down in class because he's a busybody For my little girl.
Speaker 3:Independence and having a little bit of a chip on her shoulder I want her to have a little chip on her shoulder just because, you know, I feel like women of color sometimes lose that chip and I really want her to have a high level of thinking of herself. So that's one of the things I definitely groom for Luna and to keep that toughness.
Speaker 2:She's tough, she is tough, yeah, she is tough.
Speaker 3:I parent the things that they're bad at. I don't parent the things that they're good at. We harness those things and a lot of the time determine the days and how we play and stuff like that. But you know, I really focus on the things that are lacking.
Speaker 2:I appreciate you sharing that. I really like how you it seems like you reflect on things immediately to kind of analyze how you acted in a certain situation.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you check situation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you check yourself. Yeah, if I don't check myself first Before you fucking wreck yourself, bro.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:I don't even need to say that that was perfect.
Speaker 1:That was perfect.
Speaker 3:If I don't check myself, I might not approach it in the way that I want to. This comes from reading books and being around people who are mindful, more mindful than I, that have taught me things that will slow me down, to offer the best person, to offer the best of Brandon. So my kids can like, because you know one of my homies and I'm going to bring him on His name is Johnny Arias. He's dope. He always tells me, you know, like if you're not good at B, like your family's not going to be good. You know what I mean. Like it all starts with you and then it's infectious and he's 100 percent right, because the better I'm doing, it seems like the better my family's doing.
Speaker 3:And that doesn't mean like I got a stack of money in my pocket, it's a mental wellness. You know what I mean. Obviously, that will help a brother out too, money. But, um, because it is something that just flies out of my hand these days, I don't, you know. I try not to focus on it so much and just live life in a manner where that is not always the focal point. You feel me, my kids are the focal point.
Speaker 2:You feel me. My kids are the focal point.
Speaker 3:We all get it, especially being in California. We all work, you know, you work, yeah, everyone has expenses.
Speaker 3:Everybody out here grinding, you know, and it's hard to get that genuine feeling of family and slow down unless you already got it. For the ones who already got it, kudos to you. But for the ones that are out here struggling, I see you, man, but make sure you spend that extra time. Don't just take time for a vacation. Take time to spend with your goddamn family. You feel me Tap in. Make sure your little ones are okay and as far as kids and stuff like that, I know you take a big stance in your niece's life. What is it that you implement in her world from an uncle's perspective? Because my uncle was one of the coldest people in my life growing up and has some of the best memories you know out there that I hold. My uncle was there for some of my best memories. What? And I know you take it serious. So what are some of the?
Speaker 2:things that you you got me smiling because I tell you a lot of the stories already. I try to be that same thing you just explained. I try to be that tough but knowledgeable source that she can reach out to that my sister hasn't given her yet. Because me and my sister have a good relationship. You know my sister.
Speaker 3:Jolene Jolene.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we have a good relationship. So that in itself opens her ears a little more too and she appreciates I can tell even as a kid she appreciates my input, even if it does come across a little rough sometimes.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:She listens to it. I did have a not kids, but one of my fellow soldiers reached out to me. I'm going to give him a shout out because you kind of remind me of that story. We were getting feedback from our current episodes and one of my gunners from one of my deployments to Afghanistan he hit me up. He found me off the podcast post. He started listening to the podcast. He really liked it so far and he. His feedback for me was he was so happy that I was doing well and he remembered all the stuff that I taught him, or I called them all out on. That's the stuff. He remembered all the learning experiences and I always, I always, I always overthink and I go. Was I a good leader at that time? Was I not?
Speaker 2:Because I don't talk to a lot of those guys anymore and I feel like the military itself doesn't set you up for that. You can be the best of friends, the best of brothers and then like that after that deployment's over or after you leave that unit, you're not even a part of that person's life anymore. You're not part of that family anymore. So it was really nice to get that feedback from him and to know that I was a good influence in his life at one point.
Speaker 3:When you go to a therapy session. I want to get back to that real quick. When you go to a therapy session, is there a certain part about every session that you look forward to, or is there a feeling going into the therapy that's like dang, I know you found somebody that you like. Do you get an excitement going?
Speaker 2:Yes, Honestly, it's just like these podcast episodes. I feel a sense of vulnerability because I'm putting myself out there to somebody else.
Speaker 1:This is a much bigger someone else.
Speaker 2:This is a big audience. We it's almost like this podcast, where we try to stick to the topic at hand and I try to bring in to therapy the topic either from the last episode or the last session how I'm feeling that day. I actually haven't been there. I have therapy coming out. I haven't been in therapy since I started this podcast.
Speaker 3:I might have something new to talk about yeah, during my session just like you asked yourself as a kid like oh you know, what would you change? What do you think your therapist would say about you putting yourself out there from when she first saw you to where you are now and the growth that you've had? Like, what would she say about this stuff? What try and bring us into your next therapy session and you bring up the podcast to her and what is she going to say to you?
Speaker 2:So I'll give a little background. Okay, you, since our you've known each other for a while, about seven, seven, eight years.
Speaker 3:Yeah, about seven, eight, and you've noticed differences in me.
Speaker 2:She has already said she's noticed I've been going to her since last July and she's already noticed the different changes in my life, uh, and how I've reacted so far to the therapy. Uh, we do a lot of emdr um emdr yeah emdr, you know, yeah, yeah, you heard that before. I've never heard of it um so. So EMDR therapy is an eye movement, desensitization and reprocessing.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:You can perform it either by tapping on your temples, you can do it by tapping on your legs, what Someone guides you through it, really yeah. So you take a thought into that period and then you start tapping. She touches you, you tap yourself, oh, you tap yourself. And it's supposed the I guess the Dr Francine Shapiro.
Speaker 1:Also I'll give a shout out to I'm reading her book right now. It is. Did I get that right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, don't the right title. I don't want to. The Body Keeps the Score and then Excuse me, and that one, the book I'm reading, was not written by her. It actually was written by another doctor, dr Bessel van der Kolk.
Speaker 1:It's a good book so far.
Speaker 2:It's a good book so far and trying it out. It's a good book so far. It's a good book so far. It's a good and, trying it out, it's a good way of therapy. If you're going to therapy right now, you can bring it up to your therapist and ask if you want to try it.
Speaker 3:That's new to me. I didn't know that they did like things like that, yeah, and it's, it helps, it works.
Speaker 2:It's newer it.
Speaker 3:It's newer, uh, but yeah, it helps a lot and I I dig it. What's the overall feeling coming from therapy? You go in on a high, do you?
Speaker 2:ever leave negative, or like uh, sometimes, very sometimes relieved and sometimes wiped out. After an hour therapy session, it can feel like six hours of being tattooed.
Speaker 3:Uh, my body and mind are just tired, and when you go through these sessions like are you getting the like the aha moment immediately, or does it come later?
Speaker 2:comes comes with time and I know obviously I'm not going to call her out or anything. I know she can attest to this is I may not give her everything at the beginning of the session. I may say a couple things that are bothering me and throughout the hour or the process of therapy, more comes out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh yeah. I relate it to our tattoo because I'm very open with you. I feel like sometimes I'll walk in and you and me will get everything off right off the bat. We'll get everything off. That's on our mind. Other times it's at the end of the session all of a sudden. I have three or four things for you. You're like man, why were you holding back on me, right?
Speaker 1:right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:It's like you forget things. You forget what was bothering you.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, until you bring it up again.
Speaker 3:So a therapist is like good weed, is what you're saying.
Speaker 2:Oh, yes, okay, yes, yeah, exactly like that. Yeah, actually, yeah, very similar to that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I like that.
Speaker 2:Are you ready for a roundup? Yeah, I like that. Are you ready for a roundup?
Speaker 3:No, I have one more thing to say before we switch the topic. You asked me if I had therapy. No, I haven't had traditional therapy. Yes, but I do things that I consider therapy. I studied with this guy and I call it study because I'm learning His name is Dave Keneally and he was a Buddhist monk and what we were focusing on was controlling my mental so that I'm not so irrational with my spikes going up and down, so that when I'm like what I talked about with my kids earlier, I could take a moment and be present and then make the right decisions and stuff like that. He was pivotal. He was pivotal as far as my in my journey to become a more mindful individual and to just be kind, be kind. And then, johnny Arias, to shout out to him one more time when I first apprenticed he's been around since I apprenticed it's like 12 years and stuff like that.
Speaker 3:He would hit me things like your ego and he would, you know, bring me into Buddhism and stuff like that and meditation, and just give me little, little little pieces of things to kind of chew on. You know what I mean he was. He called it bones. You know what I'm saying. He'd give me little bones of chew on. You know what I mean. He called it bones. You know what I'm saying. He'd give me little bones to chew on and it would inspire the thought and those things I consider therapy. You know, check out Sanga, dave. He's out of San Diego. He has a Patreon. I don't know exactly what the Patreon is, but I'll get that information for you guys and I'll post it on the um the podcast, uh page.
Speaker 2:Okay, make sure you're following too. Yeah, I'll use that as a uh at b2z podcast on instagram and facebook yeah, but you know all the things.
Speaker 3:They all start at conversation, which is I'm noticing I'm we're talking about these things and all of the forms of release or trying fixing. It's just a verbal communication with somebody to release something. So I guess a good thing would be to say is just don't hold that shit in, right, don't hold it in. Holding it in is not going to allow you an opportunity to release it. You know, I guess that sounds a little logical than what it is, but don't hold anything in Sounds a little logical than what it's, but it don't hold anything in. If you have a issue that you guys are struggling with, make sure that you get an opportunity to drop that off on somebody who's licensed for it, like a therapist or like good weed. Yeah, hey, you know so.
Speaker 2:I feel like we dropped a lot of good nuggets. If you're listening, if you're listening since the beginning and you think we're giving out some better content now, just stay tuned, Keep listening. I like to keep incorporating the good nuggets, the good wisdom stuff we've learned Between the two of us. We've got over 70 years of life, so it's not something to turn your back on For our roundup. That's another good book. I'm currently about three quarters of the way of it's ex-president Barack Obama A. Promised Land Good book so far.
Speaker 3:I got a quote from him Change, that's going to be our next guest. If we get our next guest, barack Obama, hey, close, that's game over If we get someone like that.
Speaker 2:I think it's, I'm ready.
Speaker 3:I don't even know if I want that Hold up. Hey, nah, you can't come here yet. We have to prepare for that.
Speaker 2:They locked this place down.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:So from him, so from President Barack Obama, change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.
Speaker 3:That's a good one huh yeah, from one of the best speakers out there. Oh yeah, that man, he can speak, man. I feel like that's how he got himself into his presidency is just his speeches and his public speaking is just unmatched, you know.
Speaker 2:And, if you liked, how eloquent that was to everybody listening to you. I suggest looking into that. The Promised Land book that he put out. Definitely any notes on that quote. Any things you want to close out with?
Speaker 3:no, I mean, I can't stress the fact. You know, stress enough that we want feedback from you guys. We want feedback Good, bad, yeah, good or bad or indifferent. You know, if we said something wrong or if you have something to add to the gumbo, please, please, bring it up All right please please bring it up alright, this is Zach and Brandon from B to Z Podcast signing off.
Speaker 2:Thanks for joining us, thank you.
